The Weight Of Family In The Bonesetter's Daughter
DescriptionAn essay exploring the Amy Tan classic The Bonesetter's Daughter.
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ImageAmy Tan
Commonly in novels, authors create tenuous relationships in their stories to add conflict, ultimately to build their characters and readers' interest. This can be very well seen Iin Amy Tan’s The Bonesetter’s Daughter, which tells two tales: one of a daughter, Ruth, looking on as her mother's mind deteriorates, not knowing her full family history, and the other the story of said mother, who is named LuLing, where readers learn her history, seeing that much shame is derived from it. There is ultimately a strained mother-daughter relationship, and it is not the only one, as LuLing has a strange relationship with her mother, known to her as Precious Auntie. Together, these complicated family ties arise from a sense of shame for one's past, and because of that, it leads to a barrage of generational pain, only finding closure by the revealing and acceptance of the truth. The first, and most prominent, relationship in The Bonesetter’s Daughter is that of Ruth and LuLing. Ruth grew up never knowing much about her mother, getting glimpses in the few times she was mistaken for being in communication with the ghost of LuLing’s mother. Her mother was always combative and seemingly upset, treating her rather poorly as a child. But as she got older, Ruth noticed an increased strangeness in her mother, it all coming to a boiling point when she was an adult, noticing that LuLing waswas LuLing forgetting basic things. And when she finds papers containing pages and pages of writing, a puzzle of truth startsstarted to get put together. These papers, ultimately, make up the second part of the novel, where Ruth learns the entire history of her mother’s life, finally acting as a bridge between the cold world of yesterday and the bright tomorrow of her own. Her mother hid so much, because she was ashamed of it. LuLing never wanted her daughter to know she, herself, was an illegitimate daughter, that Precious Auntie was her mother, that her life was one of much misery. Ruth never felt that way, though; finally, she knew her family name, knew what had caused her mother so much pain, knew what sacrifices she made to let her live her life. By the end, when she looks into her mother’s eyes, when she is helping her move into the retirement home with Art (Ruth’s husband), she’s finally whole, as if the souls of two came together as one. As mentioned, the second part of the three-section novel by Tan peers into the past of LuLing, exploring the very shame she attempted to hold Ruth from feeling. And, funnily enough, her relationship with her mother was just as much born from shame. For all her childhood, LuLing lived under the belief that an entirely different woman was her mother, and that an entirelyentire different family was her’s, her actual parent being labeled as a “nursemaid.” Precious Auntie, as she was named, was very much so involved in the young girls’ life, yet due to the unknown knowledge of her true nature, LuLing never treated her well. Often, the two would have rifts forming between them, the largest of which spawning from the marrying of LuLing to a rival family, the Changs. Precious Auntie’s daughter was supposed to marry one of their sons, but coincidentally, she blames the Changs for committing a much earlier act in her own life: ruining her marriage by murdering her soon-to-be husband, Baby Uncle. Because of this belief, she refuses to let LuLing marry him, but LuLing vetoes this, causing Precious Auntie to commit an unthinkable act. One morning, the family woke up to Precious Auntie hanging from the ceiling, killing herself. And, just before doing so, she sent a letter to the Changs, revealing the awful truth that LuLing was not the family’s daughter, but her’s, making LuLing an illegitimate child. This easily could have sent the family into a spiral, but truthfully, the instant the marriage fell apart, LuLing was almost instantly disowned, now losing both her real and “adoptive” mothers. The crazy part is, though, LuLing almost didn’t know any of this until Precious Auntie died, because she was only supplied the information via a letter given to her just prior to the death. The most painful information, the mother's fact, was only revealed to her afterward, making the death suddenly the most painful it could be. Now SHE knew the truth of her past, and unlike Ruth, these stories only lead to a flurry of pain, forcing LuLing to keep it in, never let it slip, and never want to accept it. Yet she does, eventually, leaving the very papers her daughter, Ruth, would pick up many years later. In Amy Tan’s The Bonesetter’s Daughter, complicated family ties spawning from a sense of shame force two pairs of mothers and daughters to have a tenuous relationship leading to generations of pain, only finding closure by the revealing and acceptance of the truth. There are many similarities and differences between the connections of Precious Auntie, LuLing, and Ruth, but an idea rings true for only one. Ruth, ultimately, is the breaker of their vicious family cycle, not letting shame lead to the end, instead letting it become a part to embrace as her story. She feels closure, and acts as a closer, even helping LuLing in her final years to bring a sense of hope back to her life. If there is one lesson to extract from The Bonesetter’s Daughter, it is that the past is full of mistakes, of pain, but never let it ruin the future. Learn from it, don’t burn it. Use what was as a tool for what tomorrow could be.
